The Main Bedroom: entered -> Mercury.
There is a loud scream and Mercury crashes through the ceiling and plummets to
the ground in a pile of rubble. After a few moments the rubble moves and he
emerges and brushes himself off.
Mercury turns you upside down.
Mercury hits you with a big stick.
Mercury stuffs you with porridge.
Mercury irons your face.
Mercury sticks four cabbages in your mouth.
Mercury ties your shoelaces together.
Mercury nails your finger nails to the ceiling.
Mercury glues your eyelids to your nipple.
Mercury inflates you with helium and floats you in phosphoric acid.
Mercury swaps your noisy inhaler for a canister of uranium hexaflouride.
Mercury sighs.
Mercury says to you, "You're no fun anymore."