Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
Atheism is a nonprophet organization.
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have
monkeys and apes?
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the
self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the
purpose.
Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't
going as ghosts but as mattresses?
Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims.
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there
is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it
considered a hostage situation?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Where do forest rangers go "to get away from it all"?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an
endangered plant?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid that
someone will clean them?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to
remain silent?
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
How do they get the deer to cross at the yellow road sign?
Do the sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Is it true cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?